


Now we see our true colors

by QueenC



Series: Before, Now, and Then [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Disabled Character, ChalexWeek2020, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenC/pseuds/QueenC
Summary: Everyone is born with a soulmark on their bodies. Everyone knows that it changes color when you first touch your soulmate.Alex and Charlie are attending the same school for two years now without their paths ever crossing. That is about to change.Chalex Week 2020, day 5:soulmates
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Series: Before, Now, and Then [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858336
Comments: 64
Kudos: 117
Collections: Chalex Week 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hate how my mind works sometimes. I have a lot of explanations about this one.
> 
> This was the first story I started to write for Chalex Week, because soulmates is one of my favorite tropes ever. From my other works, you must have noticed I have a hard time keeping a low word count. Which is the same to say this fic took proportions I definitely had not expected, lol. It's mostly finished, but 1) I didn't want to post a huge ass story during appreciation week because I know it's hard to keep up with everyone's works even when they're not a monstrous fic like mine, and 2) the first part of it is so angsty and sad that I refused to spoil the uplifting mood of Chalex Week with it. Long story short, this became a three-part series. And ironically enough, I'll start posting it by the middle (!!) because it's what fits better the prompt.
> 
> Sorry for this giant note. I just. I just don't even understand myself sometimes *long-suffering sigh*

It was a bright, inconspicuous afternoon at the end of the school year when the paths of Alex Standall and Charlie St. George crossed.

Honestly, Fate probably had some wicked sense of humor, because they had attended the same school for the last two years without ever running into each other, despite having friends in common. And it happened so quickly, so _stupidly_ — Alex thought he would never live it down. It was supposed to be A Big Moment, for Christ's fucking sake. Charlie, on the other hand, took pride in the story. He never failed to mention he'd be glad to tell his grandkids about it. 

Charlie had inevitably heard rumors about Alex and his suicide attempt over the last months. The school had tried its best to prevent students from talking about it, but there's nothing more persistent than a bunch of obsessed teenagers. Charlie had never laid eyes on Alex before, but the moment he went back to school, it was inevitable not to know who he was, because he was all people seemed to talk about. But Charlie was no stranger to Liberty High's hallway talk. He knew you should never believe your ears first in that school, so he paid no mind to the gossips.

He was acquaintances with Zach Dempsey due to their playing sports for their respective teams, and he remembered the tall baseball player surrounded by curious glances and tentative questions when his friend Alex returned to school after four months completely MIA. But Zach gave nothing away, and encouraged no funny talk, which eventually led people to stop trying to get any information from him. And Charlie wouldn't deny, he was a bit curious too — but he knew it was in grand parts just self-indulgent nosiness, so he kept his head down and minded his own business.

However, Alex had returned with a pretty visible cane to help him navigate the school areas. That detail was impossible to miss. But even with the extra support, he was left poorly balanced if he had to let go of his cane and use his good hand for other activities. This seemed to be happening now, as he stood at his locker with a distressed look on his face while he assessed its contents. Charlie had seen his friends helping him on more than one occasion since he had returned to Liberty, but this time, Alex seemed to be alone and in a rush. Which, fine, it was past time to get going to class — but his hurry made him clumsy in his movements, and sent his books sprawling on the floor. 

A lot of swearing and sideways glances his way later, Alex still seemed on a conundrum as to how to retrieve his belongings from the floor. Charlie realized with a start that the boy probably couldn't just kneel to pick them up. He was moving towards Alex before his brain had the time to catch up to what he was doing.

“Here,” Charlie said, leaning down to pick up the books, inwardly disappointed that nobody had stopped to help the boy before. “Let me help you.”

Alex was startled by his approach but didn't present any objections as this stranger, kind-looking boy stepped in to help. “Thanks,” he said not unkindly, yet still annoyed at his limitations. “My fucking hand didn't work.”

“Hey, it's fine. It happens,” said Charlie, standing up with Alex's books in his hands. He made a questioning gesture as to indicate if he should put the books back into the locker, to what Alex shook his head.

“No I'm-- I'm gonna need those,” he twisted awkwardly, trying to get his backpack from his shoulders.

“I'll take this,” Charlie offered, gently holding the straps of his bag so Alex could step his way out of it. After some fumbling, a lot of eye-rolls from Alex, and a fit of good-natured giggles from Charlie, the books were safely ensconced into Alex's backpack.

“Thank you,” said Alex again, and this time it felt more genuine. 

“No problem,” nodded Charlie. “I'm Charlie, by the way.”

“Alex,” the older boy replied, averting his eyes this time. He knew he was the talk of the school, and seemed to be just waiting for Charlie to take the opportunity to slip in the kind of uncomfortable, invasive question people seemed so fine with making to someone they barely knew at all. 

But Charlie didn't. Honestly, from Alex's reaction, he wondered how many times this boy had gone through this, through nosy people wanting to know shit they had nothing to do with, and his heart clenched. “Do you want me to walk you to class?” Charlie asked instead.

Alex turned his gaze back to him surprised, and it took him an extra moment to remember he should answer. “Oh, you don't have to bother, I'm fine. Took enough of your time already.” 

“I wouldn't mind,” reassured Charlie. “I'm on my free period anyway. Also,” he added hesitantly, “I know your friends usually walk you to your classes. I think it's the first time I'm seeing you alone.” 

A myriad of expressions flashed across Alex's face — from skepticism to annoyance to embarrassment, going through others Charlie couldn't name before settling into resignation. “I would ask you how you know that but I guess being the school's fucked up weirdo gives you that sort of attention.”

Charlie shook his head, rushing to reassure him. “No, it's not about that,” he said gently. “I know some of your friends. Like, you know, Liberty Tigers.” Charlie pointed to his letterman jacket. He shifted his weight on the soles of his feet, and Alex didn't know him enough to say for sure, but the younger boy seemed a little nervous. “So I've noticed you a while before.” 

“Oh. Okay,” Alex nodded, his eyebrows creasing a little. “Then, by all means, lead me to my next period of pure torture.”

Charlie chuckled, throwing Alex's backpack over one of his shoulders as they started walking down the hallway. “What class do you have now?” 

“Fucking Spanish,” Alex answered, and Charlie was amused by how he seemed distressed just by mentioning it. “Honestly. Worst forty minutes of my day.”

“I'm pretty good at Spanish, if you ever need any help,” offered Charlie. They chatted absently all the way to Alex's classroom, which took longer than Charlie's normal walking pace, but he didn't mind it at all. He actually enjoyed their walk quite a lot. 

When Charlie reached to give Alex his backpack, his fingers brushed lightly against the older boy's as he helped him adjust the straps over his bad shoulder. Charlie felt a funny tingling sensation spreading from their contact point, all the way from his fingertips to his arm to his entire body. He didn't pay it too much mind at the moment, shrugging it off as a teen hormones thing. Alex _was_ very pretty. Charlie wasn't immune to cute boys in the slightest. 

Alex turned to look at him with a bewildered expression that Charlie couldn't place. “Um-- Thanks again, I guess. I'll-- I'll see you around, I think?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Charlie with a smile. Alex threw him one more confused, torn look before nodding and disappearing into his classroom. 

Half an hour later, Charlie was in the locker room changing into his practice uniform. He folded his jacket neatly and stuffed it into his locker, reaching for his shirt. A dark blur caught his attention and he frowned, examining his arm further. 

He felt like all the air had escaped his lungs all of a sudden when his eyes zeroed in on his soulmark. 

Where it once was a pale shade of pink, it was now pitch black.

* * *

Alex walked to the bathrooms the fastest his legs and cane could carry him after class ended — which aside from the obvious fact that it was Spanish, it had been the worst he'd had to endure his whole school life. His mind was elsewhere all the way through the painful, torturing forty minutes that the class took. 

He had felt a warm sensation on his fingers as soon as Charlie's had unintentionally touched them, and he wouldn't have paid it any mind hadn't the heat spread through his entire body so fast it left him winded. And then, all of a sudden, it stopped — only to focus on a small, specific point inside his bicep. Where he knew very well to be where his soulmark was. 

Alex had no idea how he had departed from Charlie — all he wanted was a moment to pull his sleeve up and _look_ , just look to see what the hell was going on. He didn't dare to do it in class, though. He had entered a few minutes late, which had already earned him a glare from the teacher for the day. But the longer he sat there, the worst it got. It _burned_ , the sensation growing slowly but steadily the longer he ignored it. Alex had never felt anything even remotely like this before. 

He thought he knew what was going on. He didn't want to believe it. 

As soon as he entered the bathroom, closing the heavy metal door behind him for some semblance of privacy, he pulled up his sleeve as fast as his coordination allowed him to. 

And then he blinked, twice. His soulmark stared back at him. Same place, same size as always. Still so fucking bright as ever. Except instead of glaring red, it was now blue. 

As in _Liberty Tigers blue_. 

“You've got to be kidding me,” deadpanned Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as I mentioned, I have most of it done, so I'll upload second and final chapter of this part tomorrow. Parts 1 and 3 I'll leave for after Chalex Week, cause I still have to tackle Saturday and Sunday's prompts.
> 
> Jfc, I talk a lot. Hope you guys enjoy this first part <3


	2. Chapter 2

Alex could count on one hand the number of times he had been to the football field — especially of his own will. And to be honest, he still wasn't quite sure if the situation could be described as _of his own will_ — his soulmark wasn't burning as badly as before, when he hadn't acknowledged it yet, but it definitely was intent on claiming his attention. It had now proceeded to sharp stings, and Alex huffed out in annoyance. Soulmarks were said to embody some characteristics of your soulmate, and Alex didn't even want to think much about what this insistent prodding might mean about Charlie. 

_Charlie_ , Alex tasted the name one more time, lips moving unintentionally around the word. He knew it had to be him because it had all started after the younger boy's fingers had merely brushed against his. And if that wasn't enough, the now-blue blotch on his arm was hard to miss — it was a wide-spread fact that your soulmark would change colors when you first touched your soulmate.

Alex was begrudgingly humored by this. Fate had not only thrown a jock his way — but it had to be a jock so taken with his team that his color was fucking light blue, the shade of so many letterman jackets Alex passed on his way to the field. Fate did have a wicked sense of humor, he was certain now.

(None of his musings was enough to kill the thrill he felt inside, though.)

* * *

Charlie had bailed on practice. 

He was shocked with himself. This was a first-time-ever kind of situation. 

Then again, it was also the first freaking time his soulmark was showing. But then maybe 'first time' didn't apply here, considering that having your soulmark revealed was a one-time thing, _but still_. The fact remained that it was a big deal. It was the biggest deal of his life so far. Practice could do a day without him. 

He was a little let down with the whole soulmate thing, to be honest. He had thought it would be something as to take one look at his soulmate and just _know_. Of course, realistically he knew that it wasn't like that for most people, but his incurably romantic self had expected otherwise. 

But this was the smallest part of his brain talking. As he sneaked his way out of the locker room, praying with all his might not to run into Coach Kerba unexpectedly, Charlie was a ball of barely-contained energy, all his focus on finding Alex again, and just-- he didn't even know what his first reaction would be. Yes, he had fantasized a lot over the years about how would it be to find his soulmate but that's what they were — fantasies. He had the real deal just at his reach now, and it didn't hold a candle to all he had hoped for. The excitement, the pure joy he felt inside were no match to anything he had ever felt before. 

Charlie had just doubled the corner to the main building when he saw him coming his way. _Alex._ Charlie felt a shiver running through his spine just by thinking of his name. Because now he had a name, had a face to link to the marking on his arm. And this name, _this person_ had a full life and a whole personality Charlie was so endeared by already, and so eager to know more about--

“You,” said Alex accusingly. Charlie blinked, pulled out of his stupor by his soulmate's harsh tone. “What the fuck”, Alex said, covering the distance between them with heavy steps, propping his cane on the floor before he reached to pull up his sleeve. “Is this a joke?” 

Charlie peered curiously at the marking on his soulmate's inner arm. It was a light shade of blue — a very catching color, if you asked him. It made the marking on Alex's arm look like a fluffy cloud, cartoon style. If Charlie leaned his head the right way, it even looked like it was smiling. 

He only realized he was smiling as well when Alex's voice cut through his distraction once again. “It's not supposed to be funny!”

“I don't think it's funny,” Charlie said defensively, eyes snapping back at Alex's face. He was sorely reminded of how pretty he was. “It's quite nice, actually. I mean, it's a nice shade--” 

“It's the color of the Tigers fucking flag,” protested Alex. 

“Oh,” said Charlie, enlightened. “So that's where it's from.”

“For fuck's sake, I can't believe you,” muttered Alex under his breath, scurrying to cover his arm once again.

Charlie bristled, nearly pouting. “Hey, it's a neat color alright! Mine's just an inky blotch now,” he informed, pulling his own shorter sleeve up to reveal his bicep, “like I had a tattoo gone wrong and half-assed covering it up.”

Alex's eyes were glued to his marking, and for a beat, Charlie wished he had kept his words to himself. But then Alex's lips twitched as if he was trying hard not to laugh. He managed to keep a straight face, but Charlie could see the amusement in his eyes. 

“I can't say you're wrong,” he admitted. “It does look like a shitty tattoo.”

Alex lifted his hand to touch it, but seemed to catch up to what he was doing last minute, and let it fall limply at his side again. Charlie felt his annoyance draining from his body with the gesture. He took one step closer, sleeve still bunched around his shoulder.

“It's okay,” he said, eyes intent on Alex's wary expression, “go ahead.”

Alex threw him a hesitant look, and then his eyes were on Charlie's soulmark again. 

Charlie felt extremely exposed under his gaze, but not in a bad way. On the contrary — it was as if every nerve ending of his body was on hold, wound tight, vibrating in anticipation of his soulmate's touch, basking in the light of his attention. Charlie was actually impressed. Alex wasn't even doing anything except for looking at him — and still, all his emotions were going haywire, and he couldn't say he wasn't excited about this.

It was less than an hour since he had found his soulmate, and Charlie already loved the feeling of it.

* * *

Alex was hating this soulmate thing. 

His whole body was all out of his control. He couldn't know for sure to what extent this was just himself, or if the knowledge Charlie was his soulmate was influencing it too. And Alex had been through enough during his recovery to know what it felt like not to have control of his body, but this was another level of ridiculousness.

He was feeling an actual pull towards Charlie. As in, he was finding it hard to keep himself from touching him. And his stupid soulmark, that about ten minutes ago had been stinging like crazy, was now reduced to a tingling, pleasant feeling ever since Charlie had approached him. As if _appeased_ by his proximity. His marking was such an attention whore. 

But the point was that hearing Charlie's verbal confirmation that it was okay to touch his soulmark — to touch _him_ , and this thought was doing all sorts of funny things to his insides — was a bit too much to Alex's self-control. It crumbled to the ground, piece by begrudging piece, until there was nothing between him and Charlie but a heavy feeling of anticipation. Alex could almost taste it in the air. 

He lifted his eyes to Charlie's and was startled to find them intent on his face. His eyes were so fucking blue. Alex shivered. Maybe he could get used to liking blue, after all. 

Alex raised his hand again, and this time his fingers met Charlie's skin.

* * *

_“Fuck,”_ someone said, and it took Charlie a moment to recognize the voice was his own. But he didn't have it in him to feel embarrassed or self-conscious about it. To be true, _fuck_ didn't even start to cut it as to how he was feeling at that moment. 

Was he sad before that he didn't get any glaring signs that Alex was his soulmate? Well, he was having all of them now. With full force. As if by delayed to happen as soon as he had laid eyes on him, or right after they touched and their markings recognized each other — for whatever the reason, it was all amplified now, making up for lost time. Charlie was at a loss about how to begin to separate or classify what he was feeling. He wasn't even sure if his feet were still touching the ground. 

“That good, huh?” Alex's voice broke through his wonder, and though Charlie could hear the mocking tone clear on his voice, he could also see the misty look in the older boy's eyes, just enough to know he wasn't the only one affected.

“Yeah-- I mean, sorry, it's just... Intense,” he swallowed, half wishing Alex would stop touching him because he was inches from doing something stupidly impulsive. His other half just wanted Alex to keep on touching him forever. “Can we just-- would you mind if we went somewhere else?”

“Whoa, slow down, stud. Let's take it easy here,” said Alex, dropping his hand from Charlie's marking. This cleared his mind a bit. 

“To talk, I mean _to talk_ ,” Charlie quickly added, feeling the slightest flush on his cheeks at Alex's suggestion. So not the time to let his mind wander places. “I think there's a lot for us to catch up on, and I wouldn't mind doing it, you know, out of here.”

“I know what you meant, I'm just teasing you,” Alex eased him, a small smile taking over his lips. Charlie stared. This boy and his hard-to-read face were going to be a full plate for him to decipher — and he could barely wait to start. “Sure, let's go somewhere else. We've got about seventeen years worth of shit to go through, we should probably get started.” 

“I'm sixteen, by the way,” informed Charlie, giving Alex his cane.

“Of course you are,” said Alex with a roll of his eyes. And a half-smirk. And Charlie had no idea if he was being sarcastic or fond — or maybe both — but he sure as hell wanted to find out. He wanted to know his soulmate so well he would be able to read him like a book eventually. 

Charlie couldn't say for sure yet, but he had an inkling he was falling already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the amazing feedback on this story! This first (chronologically second) part ends here. I'll be posting my last prompt for Chalex Week later today, and I hope to be back for this series by Monday. I appreciate each and every one of you with your kudos and comments <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this is having a third chapter! No one's more surprised than me, tbh. You have AlexStandallStan to thank for this. She came up with this very cute idea involving Zach, and honestly, I'm never one to pass on an opportunity of writing Zach Dempsey, so this one is also extremely self-indulgent. And it was supposed to be just a small scene I'd fit into the next part of this series, BUT. It kinda developed from there, characters present a mind of their own more often than I care to count. Whitney, I especially hope you like this one. It would not exist if not for you <3

If it was up to Charlie, he and Alex would be out of that school already, safely ensconced somewhere they could talk in peace, not bothering to keep track of time. But that thought belonged in an ideal world, of course, for in this exact moment Charlie was rushing back to the locker rooms in order to grab his stuff so they could leave — and thank God at least one of them still owned a functioning brain because Charlie was just-so-hyped it would probably take them getting to the parking lot to get his car for him to notice he didn't have his keys on him. His mind was elsewhere entirely — namely on the phantom feeling of Alex's fingers tracing his soulmark. 

It still felt like his whole body had come alive only from that. Charlie was both thrilled and the slightest bit anxious about this prospect. Was it going to be like this every single time Alex touched him? Would the intensity of the feelings quell down with time? Were they going to grow used to each other's presence to the point where his damn skin didn't feel on fire just by having Alex around? 

He realized he was thinking too much ahead in his musings, and talked himself out of it. They had just found each other. They hadn't discussed anything yet. As far as he knew, Alex could very much be one of those people skeptical about soulmate bonds. Charlie hoped with all his might that it wasn't the case, but one can never know. 

He sneaked into the locker room, looking carefully around in search of stragglers — or worse, one of the coaches taking a break in their office — and letting out a sigh of relief when he saw no one. Hurrying to his locker, Charlie piled his belongings haphazardly into his backpack — he cringed at wrinkling his letterman jacket in his rush but there was only so much time to waste —, closed his locker as silently as he could, and was about to jog out back again when a tall shadow caught his peripheral vision. 

Heart on his throat, he spun around to lay eyes on a curious Zach Dempsey peering at him from the door, baseball glove in a loose grasp in his hands. “Jesus fuck”, Charlie blurted out, one hand clutching his chest soothingly. “I thought you were Coach Kerba.”

“Um, no,” said Zach, expression still filled with confusion, and now starting to sport some amount of amusement too. “Your coach is-- well, coaching, I believe. Baseball started earlier today.” He tilted his head minutely, examining Charlie with an interested gaze. “Shouldn't you be in practice?”

“I totally should. Please ignore me entirely, just do your thing,” said Charlie, waving absently around the empty locker. He was about to resume his way towards the exit when it suddenly hit him. “You might want to check your phone. Alex just texted you, a couple of minutes ago.”

Now Zach's eyebrows were up in his forehead, and he looked at Charlie as if he was finding it hard to follow his thought process — which, fine, understandable. “... how would you know Alex just texted me?”

“I was with him when he did it,” Charlie explained. When Zach just kept staring at him bemusedly, he added, “Seriously, man, just check your phone. He needs to talk to you.”

“What do you mean, is everything all right? Is he okay?” Asked Zach, immediately worried at Charlie's cryptic statement.

“Yeah, yeah, he's fine. He's _perfect_ ,” sighed Charlie, mind going back to Alex's witty eyes, the shape of his nose, the way he favored his right side while leaning on his cane. Charlie could feel his lips curving into a smile at their own will. He felt so lucky already, and he didn't even know his soulmate at all.

“What?” Zach's dumbfounded tone brought his thoughts back to Earth, and Charlie scurried to school his features into a more serious expression. He wasn't sure he was fast enough though, if Zach's bewildered slash amused look was anything to go by. 

“He's fine, don't worry, he's good. I think he just wanted to let you know that he won't be getting a ride with you today,” informed Charlie.

“Dude, every time you open your mouth, shit just keeps getting weirder,” Zach shook his head tiredly. “What are you saying, why wouldn't he come back with me?”

“Um,” said Charlie eloquently. 

“Charlie,” said Zach in a warning tone, and he was really tall, wasn't he. 

“I'm not sure it's my place--” tried Charlie. 

“Just spill it,” ordered Zach. 

Charlie shook his head stubbornly. “Look, man, don't ask me. He's your friend, he might wanna tell you first.”

“Tell me what?” Said Zach, exasperated. 

Charlie pursed his lips, uncertain. Zach stared at him, expectant. Then a phone pinged a couple of times in a row and hoarded both of their attentions. Zach paced to his locker, and Charlie took the chance to sneak past him towards the exit.

He was almost successful in his escape. He had just grabbed the door handle when Zach's incredulous voice boomed, echoing in the empty locker room. 

“What the-- _You_ are Alex's soulmate?!”

Charlie let out a sigh, resigned. So much for aiming for discretion.

* * *

Alex was tapping his fingers anxiously against his phone, lip caught between his teeth as he waited for Charlie by the school's parking lot. He felt stuck in what he assumed people called an out-of-body experience. Consciously he was aware that he was waiting for his soulmate to come back so they could go somewhere else to talk — and _holy shit, he was waiting for his soulmate to come back so they could go somewhere else to talk._ It was hard to wrap his head around it. As much as he knew this moment was coming someday — as much as he had been admittedly excited for it to happen lately, at least since he'd been given a second chance — it still felt so foreign. So distant of his reality.

Alex had spent most of his life not caring about the infallibility of soulmate bonds. It was only after his life took a mighty turn — only after he almost died that he started giving importance to some things. His future soulmate being one of them.

Only _future_ now felt very _present_ all of a sudden, so much quicker than Alex had expected. Didn't Charlie just say he was sixteen? Jesus, his soulmate was fucking sixteen years old. And Alex himself wasn't that much older. He knew it wasn't uncommon for soulmates to meet while still quite young — he'd heard some frightening cases of people who met their soulmates as kids, and was haunted for an entire month — but in the back of his mind, he was hoping to meet his soulmate a little bit later in life. When he didn't look so broken. When he was in a better place with his mind, his health, _himself_. 

Because to be honest, ever since Charlie left to pick up his stuff at the locker room, Alex was feeling his anxiety spiking, making his palms sweaty, turning his vision blurry. His hands were shaking a bit when he texted Zach, and the shivers weren't still fully gone. 

There was so much he hadn't figured out yet. About everything, really. A lot of the times, he felt like he led two different lives — which was true, to a certain degree. His almost-death had been a watershed for him. There was the Alex-from-before and the newfound-Alex. Sometimes they coexisted peacefully, sometimes one of them was intent on taking the lead. And Alex wasn't sure if he was ready to share all of this — all the parts of himself he couldn't even make sense of sometimes — with someone else. 

He turned his head at the sound of heavy steps approaching, heart jumping into a tap dance as he thought about being alone with Charlie again — but as he turned around, his eyes found Zach instead. He seemed equal parts distressed and excited. Trailing behind him, at a slower pace, came Charlie, expression wary as a puppy who'd been kicked, fingers fidgeting anxiously with the straps of his backpack.

Alex racked his brain for what he had texted Zach — he was sure he had sent him a text or two, but amidst his growing anxiety, he couldn't remember his words exactly. He tapped his phone alight again and scrolled down till he found his message app. 

And well, fine. He could see now why Zach seemed harried. 

**(3:16 PM) Alex Standall:** _hey I won't need a ride home today. Don't worry I'm fine I'll explain everything later_

 **(3:19 PM) Alex Standall:** _just found my soulmate he's a fucking jock ffs_

 **(3:19 PM) Alex Standall:** _my soulmark looks so funny now lol_

 **(3:21 PM) Alex Standall:** _what do you know about charlie from the football team_

Alex blinked as he stared down at his phone. Was it collateral damage from recognizing your soulmate to lose some brain cells in the process? Jesus, he didn't know where the last messages had come from. Truly, as in had no recollection of either typing or sending them to his friend. His fit of nerves was running deeper than he first thought. 

“Alex, what the fuck,” were Zach's first words as soon as he reached him. His eyes scanned Alex's face, and Alex had no idea what expression he was currently wearing. “You wanna scare me to death? You don't joke about shit like that.”

“What are you saying,” deadpanned Alex, not entirely following his friend's words. 

Zach glared, shoving his phone in Alex's face. “Dude, what are these texts. This is no fun at all.”

Alex focused his attention on the screen, eyes skimming through the messages he had just seen on his own phone. Only on Zach's phone, there were some more. 

**(3:27 PM) Alex Standall:** _I don't think I can do this hes gonna hate me once he knows what I tried to do_

 **(3:27 PM) Alex Standall:** _or worse he'll take pity on me_

 **(3:28 PM) Alex Standall:** _had I aced my shot back then I wouldnt be going through this now_

Alex's lips trembled as his eyes lifted back to Zach's. “I deleted the last ones,” he defended himself feebly.

“Yeah, only to yourself, obviously,” chided Zach, slipping his phone inside his back pocket. His eyes were focused on Alex, concern etched on every line of his face. “Hey, man, stay with me. You're not having those dark thoughts again, are you?”

Alex shook his head, unable to explain himself in words. No, his mind wasn't _going there again_. He was just so fucking nervous. So fucking tense. And he tended to ramble nonsense when he felt like that. “I'm good, Zach. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry,” he croaked out, eyes landing on Charlie, who was lurking close to his car, seemingly unsure if he should interrupt them or not. “I'm just-- fuck, how do I tell him about that?”

“Hey, calm down now. We went through this before,” reminded Zach, looking at him worriedly. “You don't have to tell each other everything from the start. You guys have all the time in the world ahead of you.”

“Yeah, but this is a big fucking deal, right? And it's probably one of the first things he's gonna ask me about. 'Hey, how come my soulmark almost disappeared last year? What the hell happened to you?'” Alex shook his head dissatisfied, stomach churning as he thought about the directions such a conversation would go. “How do I not tell him I fucking tried to end my life?" 

“Alex,” called Zach, and the urgency in his tone grabbed Alex's attention. “You're more than your bad decision. Remember? You don't have to talk about this as your first topic of conversation. There's so much you can talk about.”

“Like fucking what, all the highlights of my life? Not exactly a joyful ride,” breathed Alex heavily. His heartbeat was slowing down to a more normal pace with Zach's calming tone but his palms were still clammy, and his fears still lingered over his shoulders. 

“You can talk about your bands,” suggested Zach, not thrown off by Alex's harshness in the slightest. He was too used to it at this point. “God knows you can go on about the Ramones for hours. Or just music in general, you've been making real improvements with your guitar. _Or_ you can say your dad's a cop and scare the shit out of him.”

Alex let out an unexpected laugh, shaking his head at Zach's obvious attempts to cheer him up. But they were working. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with both fresh air and courage, and nodded at his best friend.

“You can do this,” reassured Zach. “You've done so much harder in this life already. You can handle this wide-eyed boy for a couple of hours. If anything, I think he'll swallow down anything you say and still ask for more.”

“He seems scared,” observed Alex for the first time. “Please tell me you didn't yell at him.”

“I might have told him I'd have his balls if he thought of hurting you,” offered Zach, "but c'mon, this is mandatory shovel talk, it will not scare him away.”

“Zach-- Jesus, what have you done. He looks terrified,” stressed Alex, frowning. 

“He does, but that's probably got more to do with you than with me,” said Zach with a condescending smile. “It didn't occur to you for a second that he's freaking out just as much as you are, did it?”

And to be honest, this was the first time Alex was giving it a thought. It was true, Charlie was likely to be just as scared as he was about the whole getting-to-know-your-soulmate thing. First impressions weren't set in stone, but they did count a lot in any setting. This specific setting being about the person you're supposed to be paired for life with — yeah, Alex could see it had to be stressful to everyone, not just him.

“I hate when you get wise,” Alex sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. 

“Yeah, I'm sure you mentioned it a couple of times before,” Zach smiled back. He threw a glance over his shoulder, nodding his head at Charlie — who was still glued to the same spot beside his jeep, leg jittering as he waited what seemed like a lifetime for their conversation to end. “He's a good kid. You had me worried there for a minute when you mentioned your soulmate was a jock--”

“Zach, you are a jock,” reminded Alex, blank-faced. 

“Which is why I know what I'm talking about”, justified Zach smartly. “But Charlie's on the good side of the fence. He's very kind and decent, from what I know.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” mumbled Alex, mind going back to earlier that day, when Charlie had mindfully offered to help him with his books and unknowingly initiated the chain of events that had landed them here. At Zach's curious glance, Alex shook his head. “Nevermind, I'll explain it later. Just... Thanks. You didn't need to come all mother hen on me but I'm kinda glad you did. I feel calmer now.”

“Dude, I'll never pass on an opportunity to fuss over you. How would I make fun of you later?” At Alex's eye-roll, Zach grinned, clasping his friend's shoulder. “You will be fine. You guys are meant to be, after all. I demand an update as soon as you get home.”

“Oh, is this how this is going to be?” Asked Alex, mildly amused.

“A detailed update,” informed Zach. “Come on, man. Not all of us are so lucky to have found our soulmates yet.”

 _Lucky._ Alex assumed most people would really call him lucky. He and his soulmate had found each other pretty early in life — some people spent years roaming this world in search of their other-half. And Alex was thankful that this was happening under such an ordinary setting so he could have some semblance of stability to process this news in his already excessively overworked mind. There were no flashing signs or revelations, no big moments, no groundbreaking situations — except it still somehow entailed all of this. The feel of his skin against Charlie's, and the certainty his life was forever changed. It was such an odd feeling. To think of someone he barely knew with that much caring and consideration.

As he looked up at Charlie, the younger boy's brown hair reflecting golden under the sun, cheeks still lightly flushed with both excitement and nervousness, eyes wide and anxious fixed on him — when he looked at Charlie, Alex thought maybe his heart understood it better than his mind did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading!! I'll be back with the final part soon <3


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